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31.08.2017

The rave reviews we’ve been hearing about new delivery service Joker on Wheels make us feel like we’re either just not fun enough (probably true); or we don’t have access to the same mood enhancers our friends do at 4 am (also probably true).

Cirque du So-Late! 

When we call at dinner-time, the good people at JOW sound like they’re just surfacing from last night: they take our order, but are unenthusiastic about answering questions. The menu consists of anything your late night munchie brain might dream up – burgers, pasta, rolls, parathas, “real Italian ice-cream,” and a whole page dedicated to Chinjabi dishes (pay special attention to chowMine, a possessive noodle dish, assumedly not to be shared).

Sadly, when our order arrives, there is no clown at the door, but a sweet deliveryman who doesn’t find any of our jokes funny.

JOW’s Facebook page makes explicit that their menu is dedicated to the cravings of late night poker players and serial movie watchers. We appreciate their attempt to gather round all clowns and also their in-your-face unhealthiness: burgers are only available in XL and pizzas are “shapeless,” as your waist may soon become if you’re a JOW loyalist.

Clown Computing

Sadly, when our order arrives, there is no clown at the door, but a sweet deliveryman who doesn’t find any of our jokes funny. He hands us a big brown bag, sealed with a sticker featuring a sadistic-looking joker on a yellow auto/bike. This character makes an appearance on every box and collateral thereafter. The branding is cute-sinister and pleasantly dated. Everything is organized in neat packages and the toppings are well-sealed, untouched by the circus outside.

We begin with XL chicken burgers, larger than our faces. The buns are white as snow, with an apologetic sprinkling of sesame seeds. If it’s size you are after, this sandwich might satiate you, but there is a processed feel to the bland meat patty that would be hard to ignore even at the crack of dawn. Fries are also average, and would benefit from a sprinkle of spice. Loaded baked potatoes come filled to the brim; once again, we’d take less of everything for better of everything.

Tent Commandments

We harbor this sentiment all the way to our last order of dahi kebabs. Generosity reigns as with the other dishes, but the bready dryness around the cooked yogurt makes for a dish that could be juicier, fresher and actually - smaller. We wrap up our meal with the kind of smile we remember from when we were kids, and were forced to go to the sad, smelly circus: pasted on, kinda fake and disconnected from our experience.

Getting there: South Extension 2, call 989940715 to order, delivery between 6 pm and 4 am, Rs. 1,956 for all of the above (and leftovers that we don’t know what to do with). 

bpb reviews anonymously and pays for its own meals.

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